There's got to be something to the old saying, 'she was blinded by love.' Looking back 20 years, there is no other explanation for why I didn't run as fast as I could when I met my future mother-in-law. What 19-year-old girl stops and thinks about the bat-shit-crazy hell lying ahead when she's lip-locked with her college crush? No, I was thinking about how all I wanted in life was to be his wife one day. I'd imagine the proposal with him on one knee, diamond solitaire on platinum band perched in a felt box, tears in his eyes. Then, images of bride and groom, like something out of an issue of Martha Stewart Weddings circa 1999. Finally, a life together, both passionate and adventurous, prosperous and peaceful, in an adorable home with a white picket fence!
When my future MIL was attempting in her own twisted and highly inappropriate way to charm me and make me the daughter she never had, I didn't think twice; maybe once, but certainly not twice. Let's set the stage for that first encounter when after about 6 months of exclusive dating, I drove the 6 hours to my future husband's hometown to meet this new BFF of mine.
Upon first look, she seemed sweet, pint-sized, resembling Mrs. Claus. Certainly harmless? There were balloons and flowers waiting for me! Hugs and pictures in the driveway. Birds chirping, sun streaming through the weeping willows in the front yard. We exchanged a few pleasantries about my journey and my summer plans. Then, the guard was effectively down and our friendship begins. No longer are we strangers, oh no, we are fast friends who giggle about boys and share intimate secrets...
The tour of the house begins and in short order we are upstairs in my boyfriend's childhood bedroom where she slyly whispers that I'm welcome to stay and share his bed! Stunned, I said okay? I mean, I was 19 and apparently a sex-crazed whore who couldn't possibly sleep in the guest bedroom without my body touching his for a few nights. Red flag? Next came the conversation about the pool and oh, did her son mention they had a pool? If not, and I didn't bring my swimsuit, I should feel free to swim naked at night. Surely, I'd done so before with her son. Again, sex-crazed whore. Did I mention these 2 conversations took place within minutes of me stepping foot into their home? Let's fast forward a few hours to a visit to their local mall for some innocent retail bonding over fro yo. Should we go into Victoria's Secret? Did I need any new lingerie? It was her son's 22nd birthday that weekend, perhaps I'd like a new nightie to wear for him? I honestly don't know how I reacted as I've blocked it out. Sure enough, we walked out of the store with a navy blue silk spaghetti string "nightgown" which barely covered my ass and had a slit up the thigh.
So again I ask my 19-year-old self, "what the fuck were you thinking?"
When my future MIL was attempting in her own twisted and highly inappropriate way to charm me and make me the daughter she never had, I didn't think twice; maybe once, but certainly not twice. Let's set the stage for that first encounter when after about 6 months of exclusive dating, I drove the 6 hours to my future husband's hometown to meet this new BFF of mine.
Upon first look, she seemed sweet, pint-sized, resembling Mrs. Claus. Certainly harmless? There were balloons and flowers waiting for me! Hugs and pictures in the driveway. Birds chirping, sun streaming through the weeping willows in the front yard. We exchanged a few pleasantries about my journey and my summer plans. Then, the guard was effectively down and our friendship begins. No longer are we strangers, oh no, we are fast friends who giggle about boys and share intimate secrets...
The tour of the house begins and in short order we are upstairs in my boyfriend's childhood bedroom where she slyly whispers that I'm welcome to stay and share his bed! Stunned, I said okay? I mean, I was 19 and apparently a sex-crazed whore who couldn't possibly sleep in the guest bedroom without my body touching his for a few nights. Red flag? Next came the conversation about the pool and oh, did her son mention they had a pool? If not, and I didn't bring my swimsuit, I should feel free to swim naked at night. Surely, I'd done so before with her son. Again, sex-crazed whore. Did I mention these 2 conversations took place within minutes of me stepping foot into their home? Let's fast forward a few hours to a visit to their local mall for some innocent retail bonding over fro yo. Should we go into Victoria's Secret? Did I need any new lingerie? It was her son's 22nd birthday that weekend, perhaps I'd like a new nightie to wear for him? I honestly don't know how I reacted as I've blocked it out. Sure enough, we walked out of the store with a navy blue silk spaghetti string "nightgown" which barely covered my ass and had a slit up the thigh.
So again I ask my 19-year-old self, "what the fuck were you thinking?"